Hollywood Has Theories About Jeffrey Epstein’s Death, And They’re As Dumb As You’d Think

(Tea Party PAC) – At the news of Jeffrey Epstein’s mysterious “suicide” in the Manhattan detainment facility where he was awaiting trial for child sex trafficking, Hollywood liberals flocked to Twitter to express their outrage that the rich and powerful Democrats Epstein had covorted with may very well have had him killed.

Just kidding.

They blamed Russia, and Trump, because of course they did and NO, I am not kidding.

“Vlad” declared actor Ron Perlman in a single-word reaction, referring to Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Brian Koppelman, the creator of Showtime’s Billions, was a bit more direct. “Epstein suicide. Sure. Seems likely. Probably what happened. Hey, folks, we’re Russia now. Enjoy it.”

Dave Bautista of Guardians of the Galaxy replied to another Twitter user who had asked “was Epstein ‘Suicided’? by saying “Is that the same thing as Putin’d?”

George Takai also suggested the death was somehow linked to Russia, asking his followers if it “sounds like something that would happen in Russia.”

“It is disturbing that a powerful billionaire accused of sex trafficking minors, who was already on suicide watch, has died while in federal custody, his many secrets about other powerful men going with him to the grave. This sounds like something that would happen in Russia, no?” Takei said.

Epstein was reportedly found unresponsive in his cell at around 6:30 am on Saturday morning. The Department of Justice says that his death was “an apparent suicide.”

The disgraced billionaire, who was famously quite close to Bill and Hillary Clinton, among other very powerful political and financial figures, had apparently been taken off suicide watch, on which he had been placed after supposedly trying to harm himself just three weeks ago.

Breitbart News reported:

On July 23, the 66-year-old was found unconscious with marks on his neck. He was put on suicide watch for six days before being returned to his cell in a high-security part of the jail, the New York Times reported.

The Department of Justice’s inspector general and the FBI immediately launched probes as politicians, law enforcement officials, and alleged victims expressed shock that Epstein could take his own life.

Epstein’s death came one day after a New York court released a tranche of sealed legal documents, providing new details about what prosecutors allege was Epstein’s sex-trafficking operation.

The death is obviously suspicious, and Hollywood elites are far from the only ones speculating about another cause.

They just have the dumbest theories and are either blissfully unaware of, or completely ignoring, the elephant in the room: the Clintons.

No, they’d rather weakly link the whole thing to Trump and Barr’s DOJ.

OK.

“I guess they think a country dumb enough to elect Trump is stupid enough to believe Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide. Or not. Love that they did it on the traditional Friday night/early Saturday morning ‘document dump’ time when they know the fewest people will follow it.” said documentary filmmaker Michael Moore.

Does he not realize it was Democrats who were exposed by said document dump?

“Trump had him killed,” comedian Patton Oswalt quipped.

Actor Zach Braff shared an image of Attorney General Bill Barr, which he captioned with “Boss, should we make it look like a hanging or overdose?”

Actor Jeffrey Wright said “Federal custody of Epstein was overseen by **these notes here** William Barr. ‘Shady’ doesn’t even begin to describe this.”

“Bill Barr’s DOJ took him off suicide watch. The same Barr who works for Trump.” said actress Patricia Arquette. “The same Barr who had to recuse in Epstein case in Florida. Tge sane Barr who refuses to recuse himself in NY & who’s father hired Epstein even though unqualified to teach KIDS”

Debra Messing wrote simply, “finally killed someone on 5th Avenue.”

Here are more of the absurd reactions:

Featured image credit (left): Gage Skidmore – flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/29870346176